IT would take a heart of stone not to laugh. Having promised to jab the nation, it appears Matt Hancock has been dispensing personal services to a married member of staff, one he hired. She is paid £15,000 for the role apparently. Perhaps other perks of the job were discussed beforehand. Or perhaps it just one more string to his chumocracy bow, flagrant new examples of which surface daily.
There may be other explanations why the Sun caught Hancock in a clinch with his aide. We await official clarification. At present, however, it appears to be in gross violation of social distancing rules, though disappointingly not the ‘Rule of Six’.
Perhaps we should not be surprised. After all, having slavishly followed the dominatrix-without-a-safe-word advice of Sage, Matt the Strutting Rooster has copied the example of another adulterer in deep in the heart of government.
No, I don’t mean Mr Johnson. I mean Dr Pantsdown, formerly known as Ferguson. This is the man who, while demanding we all stay indoors and not see loved ones, was running his dirty errands across London, again with a married woman.
As Guido has helpfully reminded us, Hancock was firm about what to do in that case. Ferguson’s resignation was inevitable. One wonders whether Hancock will remain a man of his word.
Perhaps another TV appearance is in order. Lights, camera, blubbing: the Health Secretary is back on our screens.
‘I’m very sorry,’ he may claim, ‘to all that I have disappointed. I thought that because I was helping screw the country nobody would notice if I do the same to an aide.’
Dr Pantsdown came back later. No doubt if Hancock extracts himself from this messy situation he’ll land in some equally well-cushioned position – again at taxpayer’s expense.
It is another beautifully clear example of how it all works.
If you’re a minister or government adviser, you were allowed to have assignations with married aides and lovers throughout lockdown. Rules of six, social distancing, mask-wearing, not permitted to see a loved one for months on end: that’s all for the little people.
If you’re a footballer or a UEFA lackey you can rock in, rock out. No quarantine required. If you’re at G7 you go through the theatre of lockdown rules just to ignore them the second the cameras aren’t there. However if you’re an ordinary family, you can’t go on holiday without running a gauntlet of expensive, idiotic tests. Your trip might be abruptly cut short. The rush home might cost you thousands.
It’s one rule for them, one rule for us. The elite humiliate the average man and woman on the street, flagrantly disregarding the Kafkaesque rules they have forced on us all.
It’s time to claim back your freedom: those who created this awful regime never gave up theirs in the first place.
Kate Dunlop writes:
Not content with betraying the entire country over the maltreatment of people in care homes, handing out PPE contracts to his chums, acting as a procurer for Big Pharma and overseeing the entire Covid scandal, Hancock has the gall to ignore his own social distancing rules and carry out his illicit liaisons in work time.
He has also arguably breached procedures for ministerial behaviour and appointments by hiring Gina Coladangelo as an adviser in March last year and appointing her as a non-executive director at his own department.
Matt Hancock has betrayed his wife of 15 years and his three children and demeaned one of the highest offices in the land. It is time for him to be shown the door.
Footnote: Downing Street said Boris Johnson has accepted Mr Hancock’s apology for breaking social distancing guidance and ‘considers the matter closed’.