I HAVE just been watching and listening to a wonderful piece of hypocrisy – I mean statesmanship – that will surely go down in history among the all-time masterpieces in its genre.
It was a speech complete with answers to carefully-selected questions delivered by Justin Trudeau, Prime Minister of Canada, a country which has distinguised itself by hosting one of the most spectacular protests the world has ever known.
Thousands of truckers drove east from Vancouver to Ottawa, around 3,000 miles, being joined all along the route – Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba and Ontario – by further truckers, plus car and van drivers who kept swelling the procession.
Thousands of bystanders cheered them on their way. The mood from end to end of Canada was ecstatic. From a thousand miles east, truckers from Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Quebec converged with the western convoy and with drivers from the United States and southern Ontario, triumphantly to meet and make their protest felt around the political capital.
Many protesters had voluntarily or otherwise succumbed to the Covid injections, many had refused. But all who met there were united in their objection to Canada’s various legal enforcements of mRNA injections.
Most were objecting to the ‘vaccine passports’ without which nobody can go into cafes, bars, sports events, nightclubs and concerts. The truckers who had started the protest objected to having to prove they had taken the injection when they crossed into and out of the United States. Despite the bitter cold, thousands of drivers and bystanders joined in joyful celebration as well as protest.
Trudeau reacted adroitly. He achieved his finest hour! Having issued a hasty press release that the protest was the work of a handful of white supremacists, he and his family rushed out of sight.
Four days later, he resurfaced, not quite in person, oozing with ‘say-anything sincerity’ (to borrow a phrase from Michael Frayn, writing in the Guardian when that newspaper was still worth reading 60 years ago) to deliver his masterpiece to the Canadian voters.
Softly-delivered words of loving concern flowed from his mouth as Justin reassured Canadians that he was the foremost proponent of peaceful protest and free speech.
That said, he went on (wooing us with that gaze of sublime earnestness that apparently makes many women, and possibly a few men, swoon) to opine that the scenes we had been subjected to in Ottawa over the weekend had filled folk with rightful disgust.
Trudeau didn’t quite specify what these scenes were, but they did involve Right-wing extremists and repeated violence. Commentators diligently watching hours of video footage denied any sign of violence, (but they were undoubtedly paid by foreign powers to lie).
He assured us that the huge majority of decent, hard-working Canadians should not have had to endure these disturbing episodes.
And although some unprincipled political enemies made out that the Prime Minister went into hiding at the first rumble of trouble, in spirit he was there all the time, defending his people against the tiny minority of racists and Canada’s vaccine-refusing enemies who infested Ottawa.
His quietly sublime speech achieved oratorical height after height. Nobody was more appreciative than our beloved leader of the hard work Canada’s truckers had performed to Help their Country Through The Pandemic.
They belong to the same hall of fame that shall someday house health workers, the police, supermarket retailers, small businesses (yes, Justin even loves those verminous little parasites!) and above all, Canada’s self-denying government. (Actually, he didn’t include that last gag).
Accordingly, it is tragic that their sacrifices should be besmirched by association with the sort of Right-wing traitors who defaced the statue of the Unknown Soldier in the centre of Ottawa.
(Note: From all I’ve heard, the statue was not defaced. But hey, any masterpiece of creative oratory needs a little poetic licence. And it’s true that some rotters draped a Canadian maple leaf flag around it).
With deep emotion, Trudeau said that a kindly Prime Minister should never have been obliged to witness the terrible things that happened in the theatre of swastika-ridden horror that Ottawa became.
Future academics who write PhD theses about Justin’s finest half-hour will note how splendidly his oratorical masterpiece avoided any mention of what the truck drivers’ protest was actually about.
He succeeded in making no mention of the fact that pretty nearly all the hundreds of thousands of Canadians were protesting against having themselves and their children forced to get their bodies violated – on pain of losing their livelihoods – with a medicine whose vicious after-effects are escalating daily.
He even negotiated his way around remarking that these ordinary citizens were standing in temperatures of 20 or 30 degrees Centigrade below zero to cheer the truck drivers and be included in their protest against the mandates.
Justin selflessly declined to come out and join in the fun! Instead, he lasted more than half an hour without once discussing the reasons why Canadians would refuse being injected. He even sidestepped a direct question on the subject of health concerns by reminding us that he had always assured Canadians the vaccines were unequivocally ‘safe and effective’!
No reader or listener can fail to marvel at Trudeau’s inspired avoidance of any mention of the deaths, heart attacks, blindness, organ failures and miscarriages caused by the vaccines, which eminent doctors, scientists and statistical analysts have pointed to again and again.
No. That’s not how works of artistic genius are generated.
Underlying Justin’s masterpiece was this sublime exhortation: Do your patriotic duty … put out your arms, you disgusting little drudge-boys and girls who probably smell, and get jabbed!
I recommend anyone with a love of the sublime to watch the video, but be sure to bring your own barf-bag.