Thursday, June 30, 2022
HomeCOVID-19Vaccine Pass? How about a Singles Pass?

Vaccine Pass? How about a Singles Pass?

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OH, Carole Malone, as one of the most vocal supporters of Covid passes you really take the biscuit. Rather than accepting that my immunity is nobody’s business but my own or acknowledging the personal responsibility of everyone to look after their bodies, you would prefer that we all be forced to submit to an experimental jab so that the fat bloke scarfing down his McDonald’s can feel more at ease before ending up in ICU after a heart attack.

People like Carole have skipped a much-needed dose of common sense and jumped to full-on fascism. The idea that we should have to show our ‘stats’ to access a music venue or enjoy a meal in a restaurant appears to such lunatics as perfectly right and proper.

I would propose that if we are going to require papers to gain entry to a bar, nightclub or event, we also ask punters to prove their single status unless accompanied by a significant other. As argued with vaccine passports, this would involve only minimal intrusion into one’s private affairs. Along with their medical information, those QR codes could hold a raft of important data for other people at the venue, including psychological history, drug or alcohol abuse, conditions like diabetes and venereal diseases, and whether they snore. Certainly, as a single female, such things would be very useful to know about anyone with dating potential whom I might meet whilst out. Single and Sane Status Certifications (SSSCs) would save many of us from having to access mental health services or self-medicate heartbreak with excess wine and chocolate, thereby overburdening precious NHS resources.

I’ve tried to see this issue from the point of view of those virulent pro-vaxxers like Carole Malone or even Andrew Neil, who advocates the punishment of refuseniks. Aside from the sad fact they have swallowed the Chinese lie of us being in the midst of a bubonic plague where my unvaccinated breath could cause the person next to me to drop dead, they bizarrely believe that vaccine passports will facilitate us all getting back to normal (i.e. pre-pandemic).

Would that it were so. Covid passes will steer us into a realm where everyone’s personal information is up for grabs to the authorities and those who serve them, and where nothing is left in the private realm. Worse, they are ripe for abuse: the passes can be falsified or duplicated from existing ones. There is no way to stop people from gaming the system, save for venues being continuously plugged into an AI mainframe and monitoring the authenticity of every pass that gets scanned at the door (a costly and unworkable operating model for most and all smaller establishments).

Further, it cannot be ignored that the vaccines, still in the research phase, not only do not stop the spread of Covid, but have potentially lethal and as yet unknown long-term side effects. As noted by virologist and the inventor of mRNA technology Dr Robert Malone (silenced by Twitter and cancelled from YouTube), we should be wary of the experimental shots for their risk of causing irreversible damage, particularly in those who have already had the virus.

No doubt the vaccine manufacturers are salivating at the prospect of a boost to their already inflated takings, as upon certification requirements to enter UK public venues they will be deemed providers of an essential commodity for the British consumer. Like any other business, as Dr Malone explained on the now famous three-hour Joe Rogan podcast (see minute 30:48), their sole concern above and beyond human welfare is the bottom line.   

So excuse me, Carole and Neil and the rest of you pro-vax nutjobs wringing your hands out there, if I don’t rush out to get jabbed and upload my private medical data on to a Government database managed by Jeff Bezos’s servers in exchange for the right to participate in ordinary activities such as going to the cinema. You can rest assured that, whilst you are busy downing your pork loin smothered in gravy or quaffing your Bordeaux by the gallon, my 5km park runs are keeping me out of the hospital and actually serving better than you are to protect our beloved NHS.

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Bridget Jones 2022
Bridget Jones 2022
Bridget Jones 2022 is a commercial lawyer with a keen interest in defending civil liberties.

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