Tuesday, July 5, 2022
HomeCOVID-19Welcome to Pfizer World!

Welcome to Pfizer World!

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IN AN attempt to consolidate their reputation following the profitable release of their Covid-19 ‘vaccine’, the Pfizer Corporation are to build theme parks, called Pfizer World and Pfizerland, in the USA, Europe and Asia. TCW Defending Freedom has been given a sneak preview of what visitors can expect . . .

The Boostertron

On this addictive and thrilling ride, visitors enter a needle-shaped ‘pod’ which transports them to the ‘Immunity Sphere’ not once, not twice, but more than ten times. As the pod descends there is the possibility of queasiness but also the thrill in the expectation of the next ascent. 

Pfizerama IMAX 

The Wonder of mRNA. In this totally immersive experience you will taken on the journey of a spike protein as it wends its way through the organs of the body, replicating trillions of times as it goes. Moving chairs and surround sound will allow viewers to understand the impact the experimental gene therapy is having on their bodies.

(This film is not suitable for under-18s and those of a nervous disposition.)

Beat the Vaccinator

Visitors will enter a maze in the shape of Austria in which Arnold Schwarzenegger lookalikes will hunt down entrants playing ‘the unvaccinated’. 

A short period in a cell awaits those who are caught.

Pfizerarcadia 

Games include:

FIFA 2022. Following withdrawals from the squad (Sergio Aguero, John Fleck, Adama Traore, Christian Eriksen etc) can the plucky ten men hold out against their unvaccinated opponents?

Needles of Destiny. The unvaccinated are trying to destroy Pfizeria. Join with other WEF members to save humanity.

FDA Knockout. Members of the Federal Drugs Agency and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention engage in mortal combat to become members of the Pfizer Board.

Spot the Placebo. A game of chance where you guess which of those who took part in vaccine trials were members of the control group. (Spoiler alert: There is no control group.)

Variant Bingo: Play this popular game beloved of politicians and medical experts. When you have a full house, shout ‘Covid!’ to win the chance to name the next scary variant.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Can you hit the jackpot?

Sample questions:

In 2009, how much was Pfizer fined for illegally promoting the use of its drugs? 

Was it . . .

a)    $2.3million b) $3.2million c) $23million or d) $2.3billion?

Pfizer’s Covid-19 jab costs the company £4.94 to produce. How much has it charged the NHS for each of the first 100million doses?

a) £4.94 b) £8 c) £10 or d) £18?

Pfizer Parade

Every evening visitors can enjoy our wonderful parade. A procession will be led by staff representing the West’s political leaders throwing masks and vaccination certificates to the crowd. They will be followed by the amazing Spike Protein Dance troupe and the Comirnaty Marching Band. Watch as the world-famous acrobats ‘The Vaccinators’ perform amazing feats of derringer-do.

The parade will be followed by a stupendous firework display.

Nursery 

If you want a bit of peace and quiet, let our trained nurses take care of your little ones. They know how to deal with even the most rebellious tot!

PfizerFood 

Why not try our fabulous PfizerBurger with PfizerFries? The ingredients are a company secret and to protect your tastebuds from imposters we have promised not to release the recipe until 2076!

Gift Shop

Our gift shop contains merchandise that will prove to your neighbours what a loyal, wonderful and compliant person you are. 

All visitors to Pfizer World are entered into a lottery.

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John Ellwood
John Ellwood
John is the father of four beautiful girls. He is the co-author of Steam Dreams and other interesting stories. He has generously donated his vaccine to the people of France. John is, thankfully, not knowingly related to Tobias Ellwood.

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