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Tuesday, May 21, 2024
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HomeClimate WatchWill you be fried, frozen or drowned? Your cut-out-and-keep guide to UK...

Will you be fried, frozen or drowned? Your cut-out-and-keep guide to UK climate change

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The UK’s world-renowned Meteorological Office has just published its State of the UK Climate report, perhaps its most worrying analysis yet of where we are heading if we fail to arrest the devastation that unfettered carbon release is having on our planet. According to respected scientists, climate change is happening all around us: heatwaves, floods, droughts, tornadoes, glaciers, wildfires, hurricanes, boiling oceans, blizzards and freezing temperatures are now commonplace. Once, these would have been one-off occurrences, yet now they are simply everyday happenings. TCW’s Environmental Editor looks at the report in full.

CATASTROPHE, disaster, calamity, ruin and devastation are not mere words that appear over and over again in the Met Office’s latest briefing about the climate Armageddon that is rapidly enveloping the world. They are warnings that should serve as a wake-up call to the ludicrous deniers who implausibly assert that the climate emergency is nothing more than ecological claptrap underpinned by shoddy science.

No one who has read and digested this authoritative and comprehensive report can fail to be apprehensive about the future. Harnessing the technological power of its powerful computer modelling system, the Met Office can produce a highly accurate forecast of how the changing climate will affect the UK. It is a truly dystopian projection and one which should ring alarm bells in the top echelons of Whitehall.

Below is a selection of areas highlighted as being at risk if we do not achieve Net Zero by 2030.

Berwick-upon-Tweed

This charming border town with castle ruins and cobbled streets will disappear in the next five years, according to the Met Office. The picturesque Royal Border, Berwick and Union Suspension bridges will all be drowned by an unstoppable and ever-rising River Tweed. Displaced residents will need to find alternative accommodation and it is likely that looting and scavenging will become commonplace.

Kent

Known for centuries as ‘The Garden of England’, this delightful county currently plays host to gentle hills, fertile farmland and fruit-filled orchards. Country estates such as Penshurst Place, Sissinghurst Castle and Hall Place Gardens are all well known for the scenic views they offer.

Sadly, this will all shortly vanish under burning heat exceeding 200 degrees Fahrenheit. The rivers Stour, Medway, Darent and Dour will slow to a trickle and finally dry up completely. Dust storms and dust bowls will be part and parcel of daily living, as will camels and occasional prickly pear cacti dotted across a barren and arid wasteland. Dartford, the Met Office confidently asserts, will be a never-ending vista of shape changing sand dunes.

Yorkshire

Known to inhabitants as ‘God’s Own County’, no one can deny the many charms of England’s largest county with a population twice the size of Wales.

Horse-racing is a major attraction and with nine courses to choose from including Thirsk, Wetherby, Redcar and Catterick, no wonder Yorkshire is a popular tourist destination. What a pity that all of these temples to equestrian prowess will be lost to an all-consuming glacier that will blanket the land. The report is not sure whether at 104ft high the scenic Ribblehead Viaduct will avoid being trapped in this icy embrace. It is suggested that refugees should make their way south to seek food and shelter.

Crickhowell

This charming town is nestled in the beautiful Usk Valley to the south of the Black Mountains. A settlement has existed here at least since Iron Age settlers built a fort on the top of Crug Hywel, also called Table Mountain after its flat top. The town and its surrounding villages have attractions for all visitors to this wonderful corner of Wales.

Residents will be alarmed to learn that according to the Met Office the surrounding area of Powys will be destroyed by climate calamities occurring on an almost monthly basis. Floods, droughts, heatwaves, lightning – ball, sheet, bead and ribbon – freezing spells, glaciers, hailstorms, melting ice caps, acid rain and ozone depletion will render sheep farming almost impossible. Similarly, the nearby Pontsticill Reservoir and Llangorse Lake will be deserted as holidaymakers will find the near-boiling water too hot to enjoy.

If one is to learn anything from this sobering and balanced document, it is the plain and simple fact that time is running out. Humanity has only itself to blame for the situation we find ourselves in and we must act now to avert catastrophe. Reaching Net Zero has never been more important, and Britain can and should lead the world by making the UK the first truly Net Zero nation on Earth.

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Alexander McKibbin
Alexander McKibbin
Alexander McKibbin is a retired media executive who worked across domestic and international media.

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