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World racism shortage – please give generously


There’s a new crisis looming – a world shortage of genuine racism. It’s having devastating effects on all the supporting industries, such as comedy, the arts, and the legal malpractice sector.

Every day, enough things are labelled racist to fill a swimming pool the size of ten Wembley Stadiums.

Historical legacies are being razed, with chainsaws toppling statues.

This scorched-earth policy is clearing a gap the size of Wales in the complex ecosystem of our history.

It’s all to feed the insatiable appetite for High Dudgeon, the consumer drug of choice for today’s virtual-signallers.

The old days of earning respect by acts of kindness are long gone.

Who wants to spend ages helping OAPs play bingo? Besides, they might say something unfashionable about the Common Market or Mrs Thatcher.

That sort of deferred gratification went out with dinosaurs, the jitterbug and the sandwich toaster.

These days, millennials want social justice at the click of a mouse.

The invention of the instant reputation trasher – aka social media – changed everything. Applications such as Twitter offer instant gratification.

This slogan, for online finger-pointing app FurQueue, sums up the mood nicely: ‘Now you can turn your bile into something worthwhile’.

It’s little wonder that millions of approval junkies – people of proven levels of gullibility – are happy to surrender their entire private history to surveillance marketing companies if it helps them wreck the social fabric of the country that feeds, clothes and protects them.

In 2011 Fibbes magazine identified mob justice as ‘THE #1 fast track to a social justice merit badge’.

Accusing strangers, whom you never need to look in the eye, of racism is the charge of choice for the start-up socialist.

It’s proved enormously popular.

But soon there will be no scapegoats left to accuse of white supremacy. We could be left facing a period of emotional austerity.

George Soros could easily catalyse a run on the emotional currency markets, forcing the value of dudgeon to plunge. Racism as a currency could be devalued by over-use.

In desperation, many Left-wing people may be forced to eat themselves or even scapegoat each other.

Who can we blame for this?

Pastor Niemoller? Have you noticed something about his poem here?

He bangs on about how ‘they’ came for the Jews and the union leaders (aka white Anglo-Saxons) and the communists (aka white Anglo-Saxons).

Notice something?

That’s right, he doesn’t mention the Aborigines. Or women students’ union leaders. Or trans people who were born into the wrong chromosomes.

What a racist, sexist, chromophobe!

Will you sign my petition to get Pastor Martin Niemoller banned?

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Nick Booth
Nick Booth
Nick Booth is a freelance writer.

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