Saturday, May 15, 2021
HomeBBC WatchYour handy guide to who deserves the jab most

Your handy guide to who deserves the jab most

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THE UK’s Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation (JCVI) is in talks over who should receive the Covid-19 jab once the most vulnerable have been vaccinated. 

The Conservative Woman understands that the Government will base the priority order of who society values most on ‘social credit’ points accumulated by individuals and groups during the past twelve months.

100 points: Our glorious scientists from Sage and Nervtag who never rest in their relentless quest to change society for the better.

90 points: Hard-working members of the Cabinet and their loyal supporters on both sides of House, who never question our long march to freedom.

80 points: Employees of the most splendid purveyors of truth and enlightenment including the BBC, Sky, ITV, C4 and all newspapers. Without fear or favour, they strive relentlessly to support our grand design.

70 points: The dedicated members of the police, Covid marshals, civilians who report Covid crimes and all who wear yellow jackets. It is never easy to arrest a 90-year-old veteran for sitting on a bench or shout at those whose mask does not cover their nose.

60 points: We salute state employees who have bravely stayed at home on full pay, opening their doors only to clap as required by the authorities.

50 points: Long live the leaders of teaching unions without whose sound advice children would have been exposed to unimaginable consequences.

40 points: Those wise owls in the legal profession for whom the pandemic has been ‘a gift that keeps on giving’, and who have bravely not challenged the legitimacy of Government diktats.

30 points: The silent Church of England hierarchy who have dutifully closed their churches to allow ‘Our NHS’ to become firmly established as the State Religion.

20 points: May a thousand flowers bloom for the intrepid members of Extinction Rebellion/the Green Party. Your continuing pressure is necessary to ensure a brave new world of peace and prosperity with an unchanging climate.

10 points: The Great British Public who have dutifully followed ever more restrictive orders without a murmur.

0 – 9 points: Those from the lower classes who have continued to work in transport, supermarkets and other industries.

0 points: Malcontents and trouble makers who have continually whinged and whined about our ‘Great Reset’, and the minimal restrictions implemented for the greater good of society. This group includes entrepreneurs, small business owners and other capitalist hyenas.

< 0 points: Jackals and enemies of the state including Gyngell, Perrins, Delingpole, Homewood, Pile, Hitchens, Young, Pearson, Swayne, Walker, Heneghan, Gupta, Yeadon, Sumption, Hartley-Brewer, Corbyn (Piers), Bob Moran, Charlie Veitch, Ellwood and all vermin who contribute to, or read, TCW

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John Ellwood
John is the father of four beautiful girls. He is the co-author of Steam Dreams and other interesting stories. He has generously donated his vaccine to the people of France. John is, thankfully, not knowingly related to Tobias Ellwood.

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